standingonmyneck | FOREST COVERED: IC CONTACT

[His impulse is to make a dismissive comment about how she shouldn't think too deeply into it, or that it was just some leftover. That kind of deflection wasn't going to help at all. He may have been pretty damn bad with people, but he knew that much.]

Looks like I made a lucky guess, then.

[...Good enough. Hopefully, that would be the end of that and they could just ignore the obvious problems like he was just so fond of doing.]

Anyway, you said something about needing to remember breakfast, so... there.

Oh. Well, um, thanks for remembering that.

[Thank god he didn't say those things, because as bad as Riye was at people, she wasn't...dumb.

But that didn't mean she was chummy just yet, she was still so burned and hurt. But there was talking, and no screaming. So, there's that. But she made sure the ice was thin around her. She wasn't letting her guard down so easy today.]

Do you remember anything else? I haven't seen you for a few days.

[DAMN IT. Oh well, time to man up and just confront it and get the whole thing over with. He'd already exposed too much of himself to her, but it just made him realize all the more how exhausting keeping things hidden was.]

...Yeah, a little. I got too drunk and too angry. At myself, but I yelled at you instead.

[He averted his gaze.]

[...Was that an apology? It sounded like one. It was that kind of apology that you would breathe out after too much exasperation.

That guard remained up, but if he was going to talk like that she was going to have to express things with a bit of firmness.

She couldn't be bothered to be angry at him, or even so much disappointed. He didn't need that and she barely had the energy. But, that didn't mean she aimed to lose her footing. So now that the train started again, she gave it full attention.]

I didn't want that to happen, it wasn't my intention.

Or mine.

[He knows better than to try to use the booze as an excuse. He loses his temper far more frequently than he indulges in a few drinks. He just doesn't actually feel sorry for it most of the time.]

So think what you want about me after that. I respect you enough to live with it.

[Okay so, there was regret in there that she could believe. But...was that it? Should that be the end of it?

She didn't feel comfortable saying "yes".]

Okay but, I hardly think that's fair. Considering my goal was to give a chance and I hardly felt like I was given one.

[That sounded bitter, and she might have intended it. If only to make it more clear that it was less true fiery anger towards him and...being pretty hurt when she tried to be straight up and honest with him.

It was hard to do either, but she'd be lying if she said she NEVER offered that. Why did she have an amazing friend like Jane anyway? Because she cut off absolutely EVERYONE, in entirety? Or Jodie, despite being on different sides of a coin?

She decided to bring it back, and once again, be honest. Because he still earned it.]

I get not making yourself approachable so you don't have to give a chance only to get hurt. But I wanted to talk to you because I really wanted you to have the floor, which I admit I did assume you hardly ever got.

Edited 2017-02-18 17:11 (UTC)

[SNORT.]

You were right about that one, I'll give you that. But this is exactly why I try to keep my feelings private. They just cause trouble like this.

[It was weird, and frustrating, that even though he wanted to open up to her and have her do the same for him he had so much trouble believing that such bonds existed anymore. But not entirely without reason.

He hoped she would never have to relate to that.

He dragged a hand down his weary face, still avoiding eye contact.]

You're the first person in a long time I do want to give a chance to. I guess I owe you that much. [He didn't realize how much he wanted someone who got it until meeting her.] I mean, I do. I...

Damn it, look, if you have any self-help books about this crap I'm sure it's obvious by now I could use a couple.

[It's hard. Difficult. It hurt to be able to understand and also not. There was a barrier between them both and whether it was caused by personality or backstory, it was there.

She would say something incredibly important about that, and it took a lot of consideration. There were still risks, there will always be. But, the more she did think...it felt more right. It was something she felt she wanted.]

It doesn't have to. Not if you really don't want it to. If you feel like you want something, even if it's just one little thing, it's not the end of the world to want to try.

[...She thought for a just a moment before getting out a slip of paper and would soon jot a couple things down. Specifically, the isle where there's a whole bunch of self help books. At the way bottom of the paper, there's some times that were conveniently placed to the middle of the day, as if it was a lunch period.

"FREE"

She didn't hand it over just yet.]

I could do that.

[Now she did.]

But just remember just because a chance was given, it doesn't mean it has to be the only one. Not all of the time anyway.

Yeah, it's hiding that's the end of the world. I get it.

[Good thing he could pass off that bit of honesty as flat sarcasm. And nobody would ever know.

He accepted the paper as graciously as he could, looking over the titles and aisle number. And the bottom...]

...You sure you're not trying to date me?

[There. Some actual light-hearted banter.]

[Don't act like she's a stranger for sarcasm laced honesty. She started to organize herself, as if trying to fully collect herself. She didn't know what this meant, but the fact that they were talking felt better than screaming in the middle of the marketplace and having the most lost feelings she's had in the passed few months.

The fact that he made a remark might've felt like there was an element back. Wow, back on Planet Earth. It was a light-hearted remark, which meant she was able to MUSTER one so.]

Please. Come on. I'm the crazy cat lady.

And I have been told I'm 'catty.' [EYEBROWS.GIF.]

Hold on- I'll be back soon. [He hold the paper up and begins his quest to the appropriate section. Might as well just get it all over and done with now... or at the very least say he gave it a shot before losing his patience for it.

. . .

He's actually there for quite some time. What they really need is a self-help book for newbies to the idea of self-help... So many different topics and opinions, how the hell is he even supposed to know what'll work? There's no way he's going to take a big pile back and go through them one by one. Besides, that'd attract too much attention from Luna, probably. Hell, just being in this section is risky enough.

When he does return, it's only with two books, both of which he presents face-down, staring hard at the counter.

It's not the end of the world to try. He just has to keep that in mind. Even if his ears are already burning from how vulnerable something so simple makes him feel.]

[...Normally, as much as she hated and avoided too much labor, she would always show the customer where the books are. But...in this case, she wasn't so sure.

She saw that hole. She saw the post on the board about the gym.

Someone was...someone wasn't right. She couldn't confirm it that it was him but the thought did cross her mind. Considering the hole was where workers lived.

She wasn't the type that would admit she was afraid of a person, she wanted to look stronger than that. But that just wasn't realistic.

She didn't trust him that much yet.

She was still on her toes around him but she said her piece about an offering. As much as she'd hate to, she kind of placed the responsibility on to him at this point in time.

He was gone a while, which led her to calming her nerves by picking back up her book. She stared at the bagel and coffee, not sure why she was hesitating on eating it. Food was food, and she didn't think he would do anything to it. Nah, she didn't distrust him that much. But was she hungry? She wasn't sure. She picked at the bagel, taking two measly bites out of it.

He came back, and he brought presents.

Placing them face down wasn't going to avoid her from looking at it, the stamp card was inside the front cover. But she was just doing her job, and was meticulous about simply doing it.]

This it?

[The first one...jealousy and rage. Yeah, they crossed that the other day. Then the second...

...Oh.

She tried hard to not pause or anything. She stamped it like it was a matter of fact. But that single book title made...a lot of sense. She understood. It was okay with her, obviously. But any breath or mention of it without his approval was a thin iced line. It was touchy for a lot of people, so she would wait on his word. Only his word.

So she made zero comment about it, like it was like any other book ever given to her. No matter how tolerant she was of the concept, you don't bring such a thing to the forefront to a guy who's really sensitive about it.

So, hey. Here's your books, buddy.]

Each of them have two weeks until they're overdue. You can renew them whenever you want, just have to make sure you remember.

I hope they help.

[When he realized that hidiing the covers was futile he watched her face like a hawk instead, completely ready to confront any pitiful looks or sneers or knowing smirks head-on. But what he got was just... respectful neutrality. Which actually only made him more antsy.

He'd already shared so much more of himself with her in just the past week than he had with his closest friends over the course of years. It was stupid as hell, but he was trusting in her. Hopefully going through with this at all was enough to let her know what a huge chance he was presenting her with. He initially meant to leave this place empty-handed, damn it!

But if they helped, great. If they didn't, nothing would change, right? Those odds were at least ones he could live with.

He took the books and tucked them into the crook of his arm.]

Great... uh, thanks. I really do appreciate it.

[The help? The lack of judgment? The offer of friendship in general? He'd let her decide.]

[At this rate, it'll be when he's ready. That was what she decided. A method she wasn't a stranger to, but this probably was the biggest challenge of it that she ever had. In the entirety of her life. Even more here than with Ichimatsu.

Daria made a small nod, feeling a wave of something. He didn't say anything, he didn't accuse anything of her. Not right now.

Just a thank you, and a look that was miles and bounds different than a few days prior.

Time. It was just a matter of that. She just had to trust in him that it would come to fruition. There were the glaring flags that there was a lot to know, and it was probably miraculous that it came this far. But. Well. Trust. They had to trust each other enough.]

No problem. Anytime.

[Well, things were going well so far. With apologies out of the way, the best way to keep this momentum going was just to fall back into the usual rhythm... right?

He made a gesture with the paper and nodded.]

Monday, then.

[Don't bring a lunch.

Heee's outta here.]

FOREST COVERED: IC CONTACT

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