standingonmyneck | FOREST COVERED: IC CONTACT

That sure is a start alright. Such imagery from detail. Nice literal terminology for "the beginning" too.

[She had a headache. A big one, but she could really truly only blame herself.]

But anything else other than your birth into the world, beating another four siblings to the punch?

Heh.

[He brings a hand up to cover his face, give himself an air of mystique while he thinks.

...

And... thinks.

His cocky smirk falls a little.]

Being a part of the pack for most of my childhood, playing follow-the-leader after Kuzu...

[Hmm? Her brow seemed to raise a little. Where in the ever loving hell did that come from?

And should she get a notebook for this?

She wondered where this was heading now, though also if there was still a point to any of this. If she were to still come out of this with no regret. If there was anything even remotely telling about this change of atmosphere again.

Did she even want to hear more? She'd gotten the run down from both Yotsuba and Levant, maybe she should complete it and hear it from the man himself. Plus...it might help her understand Yotsuba a bit better. Yotsuba really mattered to her after all.

So...how she was able to tell them apart were their separate demeanor from one another. The shallow smiling fake jerkass, the sensible but damaged one, the loner who liked cats more than people, the hyper one who bends all reason, the not-yet-met eldest, and then there was Larix...so showing and attention seeking, and probably the most frustrating to her. Not disliked, that was reserved for Abby. But frustrating.

There were many different kinds of things she could say. Sigh...here went nothing.]

Can't claim I know what it's like to have five other identical siblings running around and probably getting mislabeled growing up.

It's exactly as you described it. Even our own mother couldn't keep track of us.

[He tilts his head back with a grin as though that's funny to him, but it... isn't.]

We were a unit. Inseparable. The Terrors of Tokyo! [Or at least of the Akatsuka ward. But hey, nothing wrong with a little embellishment for the sake of a good chapter.] Everyone knew us by name. ...That name was usually Kuzu's, but-! [He snaps his fingers.] We were proud to be Kuzu's brothers!

But that was before I realized that I could be known as somebody else, too. Shall I continue?

[...Okay, NOW she was actually intrigued. Listening. Good material for a written piece. IF she wrote something else for him anyway. If not her, then didn't he just explain what he could write about?

Maybe there was a way to convey that in a way HE would understand?

Because well, again, things started to make some more sense. She didn't have to directly answer the question.]

If you lived under someone else's shadow, there logically should be a point in which anyone should want to break off. It's called "independence". Seemed like you each found a niche eventually.

So what was yours?

[It's like he was waiting for that very question. He spreads his arms and throws his head back, basking in a spotlight only he can see.]

The stage, of course. Acting, music, presentations of passion!

Edited 2016-06-03 03:42 (UTC)

[Ooooh, she was going to regret this. Completely. But here it went, might as well at least let the sparks fly.]

So when did that start becoming what identifies you? Why did the stage appeal to you so much?

[It's nothing he's given extremely deep thought to, but does he ever think too deeply about anything? He rubs his chin, his eyes glossing over a bit as he gazes fondly into the distant past.]

Destiny...

Yes... The cosmic energies of the universe itself were out of balance. The people needed an inspiration, a powerful soul to connect with theirs, to restore harmony. Fate chose me and thrust me up onto that stage... and still I perform each day for a crowd of thousands, reaching out to the hearts of everyone I meet...!

[You've lost him, Riye.]

[About half way through that exchange, Riye actually reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose.

Mmmm, bitter regret.

Enough. Enough. E n o u g h.]

What about the people who don't believe in fate or destiny? What about the people who haven't found themselves? How would you connect with someone like that?

[She had to hammer in a point to get ANYWHERE with this one and she had use her magic ability of sheer and unrelenting bluntness.]

You obviously don't see the problem here. So let me elaborate. You can't connect with people with empty and fancy sparkle text. Inspiration comes from people being honest about themselves; showing your triumphs and your dents. Throwing romantic gestures just makes it seem hollow.

Heh... They would find their faith in me. Like a religious experience converting a non-believer!

[Still, though. The sound of a sharp crack fills the air, like just enough pressure being put on glass to hit the breaking point.

Larix ignores it, but his smile is a little less wide than usual.]

I don't know what you mean. Romantic gestures? Those are a part of who I am. The me I present to the world is everything I have to give. I am presenting my heart.

[The sheer delusion here...It was astounding. Not even the jokes she used to know back home would be fooled by this. She'd like to think. At least with Kevin and Brittany, it would all just fly over their heads probably.

Anyway, where was she?

She was sure her brain juice started leaking by this point.]

So who is that? Who is the Larix that you want to share to everyone? The Larix you want to present to the world so badly that you'd get up on stage and regurgitate sheer charm.

The... the naturally charming me...?

[Smaller sounds follow, like glass grinding together.

He's not liking this line of questioning, but he's not really sure how to deflect it, either. He begins fiddling with the fringe of his hair for the sake of giving his hands something to do.]

I'm me, that's all there is to it.

[Suddenly, it happened. The plate made from glass fell right onto the floor, into small pieces. All scattered across the floor were those shards, and each represented a piece of this conversation. Completely deconstructed.

But the shock of the plate breaking made the hall go silent.

Riye looked right at him with her brown, serious, stoic eyes. The light only reflecting slightly on her glasses. Those eyes would be trying to cut right through his soul.

A break. A crack.

He doesn't know.

She should relent, but there was something just happening here.]

If that's what you really think, then there's probably not a lot you could be able to put into the book you want to write before you hit a brick wall.

[Look at me. Notice me! Words he hadn't spoken aloud, but begged silently through every action he ever made, from pouring his heart out on the stage to dressing in eye-catching (and eye-gouging) outfits. But now that he's being so closely scrutinized, he shrinks away from Riye's piercing gaze.]

Hah... Well... My legend isn't over just yet...

[A break. A crack. A whole spider's web of fractures.

Larix's ego, the self he's so keen on presenting, is as ornamental as it is delicate. It's been straining under the pressure of all the challenges to his reality that Koriko has presented, and under the weight of Riye's gaze, it finally shatters. Transparent blue glass shards fall around his feet - not even metaphorically, but real glass - and break into even smaller pieces, scattering across the floor.]

Ah-

[He takes a step back, a few pieces crunching beneath the high heel of his shoe.]

[...Wait that wasn't figurative.

That was REAL glass. Honest to god GLASS. She wasn't imagining it. It was REALLY GLASS.

She looked onto the ground and saw shards of blue scattered everywhere around Larix. His foot even crushed some.

She was so focused on trying to get Larix to understand what she was saying but where did this glass come from?

There was a perplexed look on her face, a clear look of some shock. There were no words, only swirling thoughts. Larix didn't carry any glass on him on his person. Did she DO something?]

[He's not sure what to do.

What to say.

Riye's bored right through his facade but there's nothing underneath. He's hollow and empty. Just as shallow as her implicit accusations.

Being called out once or twice on being some kind of phony has never bothered Larix too much. He's always been pretty good at brushing things right off and bouncing back in no time at all. But Koriko's so different from home. Everything has a much more lasting effect. This was just the straw that broke the camel's back. The truth that broke his illusion.]

Uh... Let's forget about the whole thing for now.

[He loved the idea of an autobiography. Much like he loved the idea of himself. Being faced with analyzing the contents was another matter entirely.

He takes another step back, his fingers curling and uncurling.]

I have to...

[Run away. He knows he can do that, at least. There he goes, without even finishing his sentence.]

...Wait, Larix. I-

[She did something. Her efforts to get Larix to understand turned into something SHE didn't understand.

Something here felt pretty wrong. This wasn't calling someone out for being an asshole, this was calling someone out for being simply ridiculous. Too ridiculous. Unfathomably ridiculous, and it got under her skin. Riye got increasingly frustrated with the charade. The constant barrage of painful sentences that held no dignity or shred of humanity really drove her off the edge.

There was no substance in them, no purpose or real meaning. It WAS being a phony. But malicious?

But it was all Larix knew, it was easier to keep going and ignore anything within himself.

It was being afraid to look inside and find absolutely nothing. Judging from his uncomfortable face, he seemed to get what she was saying now.

Her foot stepped forward and she stepped on the magic appearing glass shards, hearing the crinkle of glass shattering even more. She was too late, he made a break for it. Riye took one last look at her bouquet he got for her, it was still very pretty.

Her heart sank just a little; then she felt that lost feeling again.]

FOREST COVERED: IC CONTACT

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I'm crying inside

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i'm so upset